The Ground Beneath Me: Moving to Mérida, Mexico

The kids and I on the way to Merida, Mexico 2022.

When we moved to Mérida, I thought I was ready.

Moving to Mérida, Mexico changed more than my location. It forced me to confront parts of myself I thought I had already healed. I had planned, prayed, vision boarded, manifested, even said the right affirmations. I knew what I wanted this chapter to look like.

But no one warned me that when life finally slows down, when you're no longer in survival mode, your past will come knocking with a vengeance.

The silence here is thick. It swells in the air between moments. And when things got quiet, all the emotions I had packed away, folded neatly and zipped into spiritual suitcases, came tumbling out. I wasn’t prepared for the way old nightmares would return like uninvited guests, dragging shame and grief behind them. I’d wake up sweaty, blinking into the shadows of a new home that didn’t feel like mine yet, wondering if I had made a mistake.

When everything fell apart

At first, everything went wrong.

We had just gotten scammed on our first house. A pristine-looking place with shit water backed up into the bathrooms. It looked beautiful on the outside, but we all felt trapped inside.

Adjusting to life in Mérida wasn’t what I expected.

We walked everywhere.

Three blocks to get water, a few more to buy groceries. No short taxi rides out there; small towns don’t operate like that. So we walked, every day. Tired. Thirsty. Trying to hold it together in front of the kids.

And every single day, I wondered if we were really going to make this work—or if this would be one more chaotic chapter we’d have to recover from later.

Learning how to stay

(Left to Right) Bekah Worley, Me & Tauny at Punches and Pastries with Muy Thai instructor, Bekah. This family friendly event was co-hosted by Merida Collective in March 2026.

And I did. But it was brutal.

There were days I didn’t recognize myself, days I’d sit with my back against the wall, trying to feel something other than panic. Nights I’d lie in bed, clutching my chest, reminding myself: You’re safe now. You made it.

I had to learn how to be here. Not just physically, but emotionally.

That took real grounding. Not the aesthetic kind. Not yoga on the beach in Progreso, sipping micheladas.

I’m talking about standing barefoot in the wreckage of who you thought you had to be, and choosing every day to stay with yourself.

I started small. Reaching for routine. Reaching for community. And slowly, I stopped asking if I belonged and started acting like I did.

I leaned into being who I wanted to be and how I wanted to show up in this new life abroad.

Even on days when I was unraveling inside, I still got up and did the damn thing.

Becoming someone here

(Left to right) Me, Ceci, Tauny and Carlos at curtain close for The Lion King show presented by Mid Kid Productions, Merida Mexico 2025

I realized grounding myself wasn’t about pretending everything was okay.

It was about choosing to stay.

Choosing to plant myself in this new soil- even with all the stones and thorns in it… even when it hurt.

Eventually, the nightmares eased.

We found a new home. A good one.

We met people who embraced us like family. I even started speaking Spanish, even though I didn’t think I could. I learned the language of the streets, something between Spanish and Maya, and made it my own.

Mérida, this strange, sacred city, started to feel like ours.

Las calles aquí began to feel familiar.

These walls hold different stories now. The stories and the life I chose.

I stopped flinching at the quiet. The stillness became something sacred. Poco a poco, I anchored just like my newfound family here would say.

I didn’t just move to Merida, I became someone here

Not by accident. But by staying when it was uncomfortable. By sitting with ghosts until they stopped howling. By planting my spirit in the ground I chose and letting it root deep.

Excerpt from Pulse, The Heart Project Directed by Tauny Durruthy, written by Dr. Salaama Journey.

Me at the Galentine’s Dinner 2024 hosted by AfroVida here in Merida, Mexico.